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I think it's the thought of never having you that kills me the most, and the thought that I've been lied to continually because I was never worth the truth. It's the pain that comes from knowing that the others were able to make you just as happy. And never being able to move on from the scars you have left. I sometimes wonder if I'll ever be able to live my normal life again, but then I stop myself in that thought and realize, there wasn't a normal life before you. There was just me waiting for you to come along and make me fall like I so easily did. I've been informed a few things since your last desertion and some of them have been harder to take in than others. But even when I wanted no one else near, I always hoped that you would show, but you never did and in the back of my mind I never really expected you to. I had begun to understand that you weren't coming back; I was a part of the life that you had planned to leave behind.
Now, once again you are back and I'm not sure what to think. I know that even within time, I'll never let you go. You're memory will be with me forever, and there will be nothing like it that can shade what's already there. I can't help but let myself fall into a trance now that you're back. I hate that I have to feel this way, when you never will. It's something that I can't get away from no matter how hard I try, and I know that once again it's going to slowly back me into a corner and kill me while in the process of feeling this way. You can't save me no matter how hard you try; you never could, but this time you really can't.
I can't be perfect. I'll never be on the honor roll, and I'll never be the star player of any sports team, and I can't always promise you that things are going to work out the way they were originally planned to, but I can promise you that I will always love you more than anything else in this world regardless of what the past embraces, and you will always be the most important thing that has ever been represented in my life; no one in this world will ever take your place in my heart no matter how many times you drop me. I know it seems like you can't rid me, but in so many way you can. So If I can't die in your arms, I just pray that you will be there holding my hand smiling with me about the life that you made so complete.
Now, once again you are back and I'm not sure what to think. I know that even within time, I'll never let you go. You're memory will be with me forever, and there will be nothing like it that can shade what's already there. I can't help but let myself fall into a trance now that you're back. I hate that I have to feel this way, when you never will. It's something that I can't get away from no matter how hard I try, and I know that once again it's going to slowly back me into a corner and kill me while in the process of feeling this way. You can't save me no matter how hard you try; you never could, but this time you really can't.
I can't be perfect. I'll never be on the honor roll, and I'll never be the star player of any sports team, and I can't always promise you that things are going to work out the way they were originally planned to, but I can promise you that I will always love you more than anything else in this world regardless of what the past embraces, and you will always be the most important thing that has ever been represented in my life; no one in this world will ever take your place in my heart no matter how many times you drop me. I know it seems like you can't rid me, but in so many way you can. So If I can't die in your arms, I just pray that you will be there holding my hand smiling with me about the life that you made so complete.